Salams mummies, it’s the 5th day of Ramadhan! Alhamdulillah! How are you getting along plus it’s the exams period kan! *cries*
Ya, I can totally feel you mummies as I have 4 children of different academic levels now…sigh.. getting older.
Auni is in sec two now and basically im blessed Alhamdulillah. She is self-motivated, doesn’t need much supervision but mostly coaching and reminders. She is also super popular which is so not like me *rolls eyes* .. i guess she takes after her dad *double rolls eyes* for that but due to this, i often have sooo many of her friends at my house perhaps at least twice a week. Frankly, this is something i had designed for her to do. I dont want her to go and hang out without my supervision at Paya or anywhere else which i do still allow once in a while but being a teenager once, i do remember the need to have friends all around me hence i designed to create a fun and safe space at my house that coincidentally has 8 seen cameras and many hidden cameras ..he he . So they will come here and get free acess to Wi-Fi, food, drinks, aircon and whatever else they need like karaoke mics cos they all love singing..*gasps*. The idea is to give her that personal space that she needs at this age but also to assure her that her parents are here for her whenever she needs us and Alhamdulillah so far this has worked out quite well and lets just say that we basically buy groceries every week but frankly its a good trade off.. more groceries vs my sanity! 😛
Auni & Ilhan when they were 5 & 3 years old and a recent reenactment
Ilhan is in Primary 6 this year.. yes, the dreaded p6 exams but to be honest, im the kind of mummy who doesn’t really push my kids to get all As. Im perfectly contented for them to achieve their level best as long as they put in effort. The kpi for Auni last 2 years for her PSLE was just to pass all her exams and I was happy that she did but I was happier that she put in her best effort and worked hard for the results. I remembered when I was a secondary school teacher and the teacher in charge for netball. On that day, my girls won the game but they didn’t put in any effort at all. They were complacent and just didn’t try their hardest and that was the day they received the worst scolding from me because I was disappointed that they didn’t try their hardest and for me that is the true achievement.
So back to Ilhan. To be honest, Ilhan is a very bright boy. If he puts in more effort, he can achieve much more than he is achieving now. Problem is, we need to constantly find ways to motivate him and it was only until recently we managed to find out how because you see, we don’t want him to just find ways on how to motivate him but rather on him being self-motivated. Alhamdulillah, Ilhan is really good in sports especially soccer and hockey. He recently represented his school in the hockey primary nationals, his second year. Honestly, Ilhan is a really quiet person but on that field, he was super loud and I am proud to see him blossomed and showing his true potential playing hockey as the goalkeeper. Imagine my horror though every time the ball comes his way!
Alhamdulillah they won second this year and he was given two good character awards by different schools. Me being me, I captured that moment as my teachable moment to ‘steer’ him towards trying for a DSA under hockey and told him that he need to do well for his PSLE even if he is good at hockey to enable him to try for DSA.. seems to be working so far so lets hope this continues..In Shaa Allah amin..
Now, ilyas is my third and he is in Primary 3 this year. Ilyas is a student who is by the book. He will kiss me and salam me at exactly the same time every morning and he will be the one telling me that I need to read the school’s memo and sign all the memos. Last year, we engaged a tutor for him and his session was from 9am to 10.30am but this tutor came in late one day so it was super funny when the helper told us that when it was 10.30am, ilyas offered to keep his drink in the fridge for him for the next lesson, packed his things and promptly told the bibik to open the door for him to leave. He didn’t turn up late again but that is how disciplined Ilyas is which sometimes can be super annoying when I am having my lazy moments haaaha but can be super assuring when it comes to his school work.
My last, Ilham is the total opposite of Ilyas. Ilham is really special though not because he is the last but because he has gone through so much since birth, a survivor. When I was pregnant and did my 5 months detailed scan , we found out that he might have a bit of a problem with his kidney which turned out to be true. When he was born, he was straightaway whisked to NICU and he remained there for the next 21 days. He had a few problems; kidney reflux, hole in the heart, suck breathe and drinking issue. After the 21 days at NICU, we went home and there was this one day he started turning pale and he was gurgling.. turned out he was struggling to breathe. Luckily, Alhamdulillah we managed to get him on time to the hospital. It seems that Ilham cant get fever if there was no other symptoms as that indicated that he was having urinary tract infection. For 2.5 years, Ilham had to take nightly antibiotics and we had to bring him to NUH every 3 months to ensure he was ok. It was painful having to watch him being stuck with needles and after a while, he would scream once laid down on the mattress for checkup. It was especially difficult to feed him milk and it would take him 1.5 hours just to finish 120 ml of milk because he couldn’t breathe at the same time he was sucking milk and he never went beyond 190ml of milk.
When he was 18 months old, teacher Zafirah sensed something was wrong with his wrists because he couldn’t turn them fully and it can only rotate up to 90 degrees and we later found out he has radioulnar synostosis. When he was in K1 , his teacher Zaf also noticed he had difficulty reading and was later diagnosed as dyslexic. Alhamdulillah most of his issues were not permanent like his kidney reflux, suck and breath as well as hole in the heart and since he turned 6 years old, Alhamdulillah, he didn’t need any more checkup but the thing is with Ilham, you will never know he was suffering from all these. When you look at him, you see a very happy and contented boy who never complains or whines. Whenever we ask him what he wants he will only say, even up to now “I want you Ummi” (Awww.. this makes up for everything kan! ) He is able to adjust amazingly well despite not being able to rotate his wrists and is a very active boy. He is also the most ‘brave’ among his siblings, often standing up against those that made his Abang Ilyas cries. He didn’t allow his disability to become his weakness and sometimes this quality of hid puts me to shame because here I am, sometimes complaining when he doesn’t.
Its amazing isn’t it. We may have so many children or just two even but each one of them has their own strength and weakness, different characters even though they all come from technically the same two people. More amazingly is when one moment we can look at them and feels like throwing them out of the house or just wanting to scream at them and the next moment we go all Awwww and loving them so much that our hearts can burst.. I guess that’s unconditional love… something you can only truly feel when you are a mum or dad.. a gift from Allah swt. How truly blessed are we..
P/S: How about you mummies? Share with us in the comments your unforgettable moments with your kids..
P/S/S: Happy Mother’s Day mummy… may Allah swt bless you with all the love from your children and family and get that sleep you realllllly need he he he *hugz*
Lots of lurve,